Sometimes we let life get the best of us. We pity ourselves and we convince ourselves that what we are experiencing is far worse than what anyone else has experienced. Whether we are a born again believer or not, we allow Satan to slowly creep into our lives and change how we view things. Instead of turning immediately to God, we decide to solve the problems ourselves. We shut people out and shun the ones who love us most and if you are like myself, you turn to crystal meth. Oh it feels great at first. The pain you think you have is slowly numbed and temporarily forgotten. But as I was becoming numb to the struggles I was having I was losing the things that meant most to me. I never quit know how to share my story or what parts to write down on paper and what parts to omit. Do I tell the horror parts or do I gloss over what I put myself and those around me through? Through much time in prayer I have realized that even as much as I messed up my life and I am now spending time repairing and attempting to make up for lost time, that my Heavenly Father has always been standing there with arms open wide, just waiting for me to realize that I didn’t have to let Satan and what the world was saying dictate my situation but that if I had just put my trust in Him from the beginning I wouldn’t have to run and catch up now. I laugh as I write this because looking back on things it’s much simpler to write and say that now, but I was quite blinded while all this was going on. One day you have a car that you drive to work, kids that you hug each morning as you hand them their sack lunch for school, and a family that supports you – to blinking your eye and watching your security vanish. I have ruined relationships and credibility and that’s one thing that no matter how much I try to repair, I will never be able to put it back to its original state. I thought crystal meth was solving my problems but really it was disrupting all the things that I needed.
Only God Can Save Us